It was in that moment I realized: I’d never seen the sky before.
The first time my husband took me out to his home in the country, I remember looking up when we stepped out of his truck. We were dating at the time and I recall being nervous to meet his grandmother. I’d been so focused there, that the moment struck me unexpectedly and I breathed out in awe,
“Is THIS what the sky looks like out here?“
He looked up. A knowing smile pressed his lips (I remember it like yesterday), and he nodded. “Yep. You can see everything out here.”
I’d looked up at stars before. In fact, I’d seen hundreds of night skies in my eighteen years. But not…ever… like this. Not with the expansive vault of blue-black overhead, with thousands of lights that flashed like diamonds, all winking in a dance just to greet me. I felt in awe of the sky for the very first time.
I’ll never forget that night. It was as if clarity had somehow dawned and I realized what had been there, waiting in the background all along. For me, always living on the outskirts of a city seemed to cloud the sky. I’d looked at it, but had never really seen it before.
I’m a pretty open person. Too open, perhaps.
It was one of the reasons my husband and I had to prayerfully decide whether we would pursue this publication dream or not. From the word go, we knew we’d be “out there”. We’d be really open. In fact, I’d probably be blogging about some of our first dates under a starry sky and we both had to be okay with it. We had to confront that sometimes, things aren’t always clear in the beginning. The first step of a journey can feel like a city-sky; it’s dark, uncertain, doesn’t always reveal everything that’s there. It isn’t until we get to the end of the journey that we truly look back, smiling, and say: “SO THIS why I’ve been struggling all this time. Is THIS what it was really supposed to look like?”
I wonder in life — is there a moment in the midst of the journey when just for a second, we stop. We’re in awe. We’ve been looking up at the presence of God in our lives but never really SEEING Him. Not like this. Not like He’s ever-present, all-knowing, all-caring, powerful, just, full of immeasurable grace, holy, giving, our Abba, involved in our every waking moment and in love with us so much, that He’d delight in giving a young girl the beauty of a masterfully crafted night sky.
I don’t know where you are today. You may be struggling. You may be at the start of a journey. (Me too). You may be looking up at the night sky, wondering, “Where are my stars? I’ve looked to you, God, but I’ve never really SEEN you before… Not like this.”
My husband and I started on a journey that night. (He doesn’t know it, but I think that star-sky-moment was when I fell in love with him.) We actually stopped and sat in the back of his truck for a while, just looking up at the stars. We talked. Things were simple. It was the start of the journey, and I’m glad – it was a moment of awe that I’ll always remember.
Take your new journey – whatever it is – and go with God. He’s always there; we just have to remember to look up and really SEE Him in the midst of it.