“I don’t think you’re necessarily backing away.
God may just be setting healthy boundary lines for what’s up next for you.”
I’d never considered disruption as healthy, until a wise friend framed it up that way. I thought because I’d chosen to retreat in some areas, it must be a bad thing.
Piece by piece…
Text by text…
Story by hidden story… I’d gradually begun downsizing my life.
I started clearing out closets. Emptying drawers. Donating things. Scaling back and paring down. I’d begun marking things off the calendar. If I needed to say ‘No’ for my physical, mental, emotional or spiritual health, then I did. No feeling bad. No self-deprecation. Just be kind, honest, and say, ‘This is what I can commit to right now‘.
I’d begun the process of (and it IS a process):
— I paused more often.
— I stopped living under constant fear I’d disappoint (or had disappointed) people. (I still would. But if they loved me, they’d understand.)
— I turned off all notifications on my phone. (I’d get to it when I could, and found grace waiting.)
— I banned social media from my phone in 2016 and held fast. (I craved presence-in-the-moment instead.)
— Long-time friendships deepened when I stopped sharing the depths of valley-walking with wider circles. (Hadn’t they had to listen to enough?)
— I zipped my lip on the reality of struggles in situations outside safe zones with family, friends, ministry moments, and in prayer. (I thought, why bring others down?)
I chose a select few to get real with and outside of those lines of safety, I’d put walking shoes on and backed out. And at first, I was mad at myself for doing it because it sure felt like a shut-out and a shut-down. But instead, over time, I felt an unexpected shift.
I turned off Netflix and craved the Word. I spent less time in a virtual space and more in face-to-face ones. If I started talking about my disruptions, I’d give it a full-stop and instead ask about the person sitting opposite me. I wanted to talk less and listen more. I started sharing the struggles, the fears and failures, the anxiety of what comes next… with God. So to hear that disruptions might be a path to healthy? Aligned with what God was preparing me for? Not a space of anxiety or fear or falling short, but instead (dare I say it), a space of growth?
That was an ice-water-to-the-face wake up call.
To hear that disruptions might be healthy and (dare I say it), a space of growth?
That was an ice-water-to-the-face wake up call.
What I’d thought was self-isolation had been anything but. In the discomfort, uncertain, unclear, spirit-tugging moments I thought I was backing away… God was drawing me near.
However surprising it was—backing away was drawing close. But was that holy? Was it even real? Was I the only one who felt like I was doing something wrong by stepping back, hiding away, quieting my tongue, clearing my calendar, finding my corners and even with a packed-out schedule, daring to rest?
I was… disrupted.
Disruption scatters. It upends. It challenges.
It’s the getting-down-to-business faith moments that trigger growth.
Disruption scatters things. It pares down. It sets our focus. It’s going to challenge the status-quo and force us to get down to business about our faith. Why? Nothing else triggers growth in quite the same way. And no one can disrupt quite as rock-us-to-the-core like Jesus:
Four fishermen? Disrupted. (Matt. 4:18-22; Mark 1:16-20)
A tax collector? Disrupted. (Luke 5:27-28; Matt. 9:9-13)
A great multitude? Disrupted. (Luke 6:17-18; Mark 3:7-12)
A sinful woman? Disrupted. (Luke 7:36-39)
Followers in an upper room? Disrupted. (Acts 1:4-8)
A murderer? Disrupted. (Acts 9:3-9)
Cross bearers? Get ready to be DISRUPTED. (Luke 9:23-27)
Expect an upending.
If we’re serious about owning our faith in Jesus, here comes the wave. The boat of our lives are gonna rock. The wind’s gonna kick up and blow us silly. And you know what? That’s okay.
It’s okay to get quiet. To rest. Then to challenge and fight and get a little scrappy against the enemy. Because Jesus is big enough to handle it. His shoulders are wide and His sword’s ready. He’s going to stare in the face of the disruptions and whisper to us, “Stay close. I’ve got this.”
Take a long pause when a corner starts to look pretty good. Before backing into it, notice who’s there, and Who’s there. Because there’s a BIG difference between isolation and disruption. One we do alone; the other, with Jesus—any boundary that begins and ends with Him is exactly where we want to be.
TWEETABLES:Cross bearers? Get ready to be #DISRUPTED. (Luke 9:23-27) Click To Tweet Disruption scatters. It upends. It challenges. It's the getting-down-to-business faith moments that trigger growth. Click To Tweet To hear that disruptions might be healthy and (dare I say it), a space of growth? That was an ice-water-to-the-face wake up call. Click To Tweet